My best friend

Imagine living your life and at some points experiencing intense paranoia, to the extent that you have your daughter hide in the backseat of your explorer and video tape cars that are "following" you or having the feeling that people are constantly out to get you. It's enough to drive you mad, and be afraid to even leave the house, and even worse what if you believe the people are still getting to you in your own home. This is just part of the everyday struggle my Mom faces with her bipolar disorder.

There are different "intensities" of bipolar disorder and also other problems that go along with it, for instance bipolar disorder with schizoaffective tendencies. This is what my Mom suffers with and has for a very long time. Most families "hide" these issues but I am not embarassed by my Mom or ashamed of her. I'm quite proud of how positive she is, and how strong this has made her. When things are good with her disorder they are great but let me tell you when they are bad, they are awful. I have had birthdays where she hasn't been around, I use to never go to my friends houses when I was little because I was scared of leaving her alone, I have tried to console her on many occasions when she was balling her eyes out for no reason, or trying to convince her that there is no one out to get her. It hasn't always been so hard/dramatic..because before I really understood the disease and when she went into a "mania" it was one of the most fun times, she wouldn't sleep and had so much energy and she would take me on shopping trips and we would buy 2 of everything. I can not tell you how many stuffed animals I had when I was in fourth grade, it was ridiculous and it was all thanks to a mania episode. Also let me tell you how intelligent my Mom is and this one instance made my Papa so proud of her (but of course we couldn't tell her that at the time) a long time ago she was in the hospital and we use to give her change so she could call us and my Mom wanted out so bad that she disable the wards alarm system with a dime! And managed to walk right out the door but then into a security guard, but c'mon Mama Macgyver!

I love my Mom and she truly is one of my best friends and I am being pretty open with her disease but sometimes I think it's good to let it out there and help people understand. It's not always easy for her and it's not easy for us either, it truly breaks my heart all the time and when my Mom isn't well I really miss her.

Lowered Expectations

"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"- Mark Twain

I have always considered myself a pretty positive person, and I'm a strong believer if you think positive than you will have a positive outcome. Lately though I feel as being a "positive thinker" has kind of screwed me. As a positive person you usually expect the best of situations/people and as of lately it seems I'm being let down. Is it possible to be a positive person without expecting much of life or people?

Pussy Wagon

This song is my favorite song on Gaga's new album and when I heard they were making a music video for this I was so excited. There is so much epicness in this entire video; the fact they kill one of the most obnoxious tweeters ever (Tyrse), and the fact that they have Quentin Tarantino's Pussy Wagon as their mode of transportaion. Music videos are almost extinct now a days .. especially now that MTV has become more Reality television than music television (how I miss the days of "Making the Video", and Trl). But please enjoy the randomness that is Gaga.

And so the plot thickens, or not so much

Travis and I braved the rainy weather and drove our way to Hollywood to go see "Alice and Wonderland" at the El Capitan. To start off I was emailed the road closures and told to exit on Highland and park at the Hollywood and Highland structure, I did not expect as much traffic as there was and then we we finally made it to that effing structure they had decided to close it. Finally finding a janky ass parking lot we walked over to the El Cap, and the streets were so crowded. Now I tried to go in not expecting much because I was hearing ver mixed reviews. We took our seats got our popcorn bucket and the movie started I was aware this wasn't a classic Alice and Wonderland it was more representative of the books after Alice's first trip and of course it being a Burton telling would be different.

The graphics weren't bad but the darkness of the film tone combined with putting on 3-d glasses made the film uber dark and at times hard to see. There were a few of the typical 3d gags but not overdone, and some of the scenery was amazing. Now onto the bad I am a fan of Burton and Depp and usually feel they can't do much wrong. Mad Hatter was a mix of Willy Wonka, Sweeney Todd, and Jack Sparrow all in one and the accent Johnny adapted to the character was tough to decipher. The young girl who played Alice I felt was just drab, kind of one note and stale and the tone of her voice made me bored.It was a very lackluster story where I found myself just waiting for something to really happen and the build up to events were very underwhelming. Trav and I both left the theatre feeling a lil akward, like we just had witnessed an individuals very embarassing moment, which for Tim Burton I feel like this film was. Better luck next time!

Why Hollywood hates James Cameron..

Tonight I joined the cult fandom for James Cameron's "Avatar". I was finally able to unenthusiastically drag Travis out to see this spectacle with me. He of course was very hesitant as he usually isn't a fan of sci-fi movies at all, and I was honestly not expecting much.Even more so after all the hype for the movie and then the film getting such critical acclaim I wasn't really a fan because let's face it I just didn't understand.



When we received our obnoxious 3-d glasses I instantly was thinking wow this may be a horse of a whole different color, maybe a blue color perhaps!? We took our seats and as soon as it started I was in awe, the graphics were stunning. The way it was filmed and the imagery put in front of you made you feel like you were in the movie, and when they went on their adventures you were engulfed in the film. Which in my opinion made you more invested in the characters and the storyline. The colors were vibrant and beautiful and the scenery was out of this world. Now I'm not sure if people realize that this isn't all animated they actually did use the actors facial movements and body movements. The actors wore suits outfitted with sensors in a giant room filmed with cameras and completely imagined the scenes around them and acted them all out with nothing to reference. This turned out to make the "Navi" look so recognizable to their human actors. Zoe Saldana is amazing in the movie and I wish she would get more recognition for her role and this Sam Worthington guy well he aint to shabby himself.

To sum it up I am now an "Avatard" and understand all the hoopla that surrounds this wild journey of a film. And let me say even Travis the critic loved it and he and I both stated we kept waiting for "the typical cheesy 3-d gags" but alas they never showed up. The 3-d just made the film stand out it didn't define the film. This weekend we are going to see "Alice and Wonderland" in 3-d and "Avatar" has really raised the bar as far as 3-d films goes so lets see what you can dish out Alice.

I really want to, but

If you ever need some assistance in deciphering and identifying when a lie is being dealt your way, here are some indicators:

1. Any statement that begins with, "I really want to, but..."(if they really wanted to, they would)

2. Claim that "it's natural" (generally used to hide the fact that is not, in fact, natural in act or appearance)

3. Anti-puff anything (anything claiming to de-puff you is a gross over exaggeration and blatant false advertising)

4. "I've never done this before" (yes, they have, although I have said this and meant it but I commonly do things I've never done before and then learn to never do them again)

5. "You look nice today" (commonly used as an empty buffer before asking for or demanding something)

Happy Birthday to my Main Squeeze!

Happy Birthday Travis!